I have a little boy who happens to be a pretty child and has very pretty hair. I'm talking the type of hair that is golden blonde, naturally parts on the side and has little ringlets and waves in the back. He also happens to get called a "girl" every day by random strangers. It usually goes something like this:
Random Stranger (usually someone working at the drugstore, restaurant, etc.): Oh, she's soooo pretty!
Me: Thank you. Jace, can you say "thank you"?
Jace: *signs "thank you"*
Random Stranger: Can she have a balloon?
Me: Yes, HE can. Jace, would you like a balloon?
Random Stranger (STILL not getting the subtle clues given by myself that "she" is actually a "he": What color would she like?
Me: Well, pretty much anything but pink since "she's" a boy! (With nice, friendly smile on my face and sort of laughing so random stranger doesn't feel so bad for calling my son a girl.)
Random Stranger: OH I'M SOOO SORRY...he's just SOOO pretty! I didn't realize he was a boy!
Me: That's OK, we're used to it at this point. It's happened ever since he was born.
So that's a normal day in our life. I am starting to think that maybe it has something to do with my son's long hair, but honestly, it has happend his entire life and up until this last spring/summer, he was pretty bald! I dress him in what *I* think are fairly obvious boy clothes...ok, so it's not usually planes, trains and automobiles or soccer and basketballs, but it's definitely NOT girly stuff! I can't figure this out!
My other question is this: When did it become fashionable or even *expected* for little boys to get that "little boy haircut"? Is it so wrong of me (and my husband) to not want to cut his hair? I didn't realize this decision would catch so much flak from some many people. I get the comments quite often, lately, like "Oh, are we going to take Jace for his first haircut soon??" or "Jace, you need to tell Mommy that you are ready for a little trim"...you know, stuff like that. I really dislike that passive-aggressive approach. I want to say to people, "You had your chance to raise your children, now may I have mine??". What is so wrong with me wanting to keep his hair long?
I couldn't agree with more :) I so enjoy reading your posts - in fact, this one I even copied into an email and sent it to your daddy!!!
ReplyDeleteOMG, the other day, out with all 3 and some lady says what a nice family i have and asks if all 3 are girls? Sophia is in a nice pink dress, Gordon in some blue jeans and t-shirt and Daniel in brown courdory overalls?!?!
ReplyDeleteBen, seriously, I have come to realize that people are MORONS! JJ...but your boys look like BOYS! I am really not exaggerating when I say not a day goes by (that we leave the house, that is) that someone doesn't call Jace a girl! It's astounding to me! I could understand if his hair was in pigtails and he had a DRESS on, but he doesn't! ha ha ha I guess they make me feel better by saying how pretty he is (and he really is)! Oh and that lady was right, you do have some super cute kiddies!
ReplyDeleteThere's absolutely NOTHING wrong with keeping it long. My older son didn't get his hair cut until he was over 2, I believe. He had looong, gorgeous, springy locks of golden hair. I'm sure it was always falling into his eyes (like my 2nd son's hair is doing now). But I just couldn't bring myself to cut it until I was ready. When we did, we saved several of the locks, had the ends glued together, and preserved into a large tube. When I look at it, I can hardly believe it was that long. He was absolutely adorable, though.
ReplyDeleteI sorta assumed people would think he was a girl because on societies expectations. I just couldn't let it bother me. After all, they were looking at hair and gorgeous big blue eyes (with thick long eye lashes, mind you), and NOT at his penis. Not THAT would have been a little more offensive. ;) I'll admit, though, that even *I* thought another little 5 year old boy was a girl here in my town. His hair was waist-length and pulled back into a long pony tail and he was playing with my daughter. Such a beautiful boy, but there was no way to know which sexual organ he had. I try to be more careful about that today--especially because most modern names could be for either a boy or a girl.
xoxo,
Shaye @ Miller Memories